


We're All Mad Here

by Brittany_Hamato



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Blood As Lube, Child Abuse, Cutting, Donnie has social anxiety, Donnie is Donald, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, F/M, Human AU, Hurt / Comfort, Leo abused, Leo as PTSD, Leo bottom - Freeform, Leo is Leonard, Leo is really fucked up, Leo tops, Leonardo is abused, M/M, Mental AU, Mental Hospital, Mikey is Micheal, Mikey is crazy, Mikey plays pretend, Raph bottom, Raph cuts, Raph does drugs and drinks, Raphael is Raphael lol, Sub Raphael, Suicide Attempts, abusive Leo, change in doctors, cutters, hot nurses, hurt / healing, m/m - Freeform, pain / relief, poor Leo, power bottom leo, rated R in some chapters, top Raph
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 11:28:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12034935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brittany_Hamato/pseuds/Brittany_Hamato
Summary: Mikey is a 16-year-old ninja turtle with a family that loves him... in a past life.  In this life, he is a 16-year-old boy with no family and no friends. After some major offenses, he is put in a mental hospital where he meets Leonard, Donald, and Raph."Leonard" suffers from unknown PTSD blackouts. Mikey knows why they are unknown..."Donald" has horrible social anxieties. Mikey knows why...Only Leo knows what is really wrong with Raphael...Rated R for some chapters - other wise M fits well. There is cussing, sex, and alcohol... but that is mostly after Raphael joins in the mental fun.Also, know that Leo had a terrible childhood (as will be told) and that you can't hate him for giving in and letting go





	1. Mikey! No! Dammit, okay, whatever....

**Author's Note:**

> I thank WEREPIRECHICK so much for giving me the inspiration.

“I have cleaned up your mess for the last time, freak.” his foster mom whispered in his ear as she made a big scene of giving him a last hug. 

 

She pulled away and wiped a non-existent tear from her eye. He saw her smile as he was taken away. 

 

He wanted so desperately to leave that sick man’s home, but he didn't want to stay in the group home either. 

 

He sat in the very back seat of the group home’s van as he waited for the driver, a grimy old bearded man with bad teeth, to get in. 

 

“He is becoming a danger to others as much as himself.” his foster mother said to the Matron of his group home. 

 

“I know, I think it would be best for him. He needs a place where he can't hurt anyone.” the Matron and the mother shook hands and the Matron, a mean hag with red hair and fake nails and far too much makeup, got in the van with the driver. 

 

What was good for him? Where were they shipping him now? 

 

The drive was silent, save for a gospel tape that played through the broken speakers of the ancient van. 

 

They finally pulled into the group home parking lot and Michael got out. He stretched and got his discarded suitcase and backpack.  

 

He was grabbed by the shoulder. When he turned it was Mrs. Mire. “Enjoy your last night here, boy, because you won’t get another one.” She sneered and pushed him toward the door of the home. 

 

He walked in and walked straight to the room he shared with three other boys: Nathan, Adam, and Joshua. 

 

Being in a home means rumors and plans spread like wildfire. “Hey, Mikey, heard they were shipping you off to the asylum,” Adam said, fear plain on all their faces. 

 

“Yeah, but I'll have nice rooms, three meals a day and people to wait on me hand and foot.” He said as he flopped over his bed. 

 

“What did you do?” Nate asked and Mikey laughed. “Killed a man.” He picked up one of their stuffed animals, throwing it at the light switch, plunging them all into to blackness. 

 

“O please, Mike ain't never hurt any one,” Josh said and Mikey laughed as deep in his chest as he could. “I don't leave till tomorrow, and what do I have to lose.” the room was then silent. 

 

He tried not to laugh. It was so easy to get people worked up. It was true, he hadn't hurt anyone. They were shipping him off because he scaled a building. Tried to scale a building anyway. 

 

The next morning when Mikey got up the other boys had already left the room. He walked to the bathroom and used the toilet before turning to the sink. 

 

He washed his hands then freckled face. He groaned as he looked at the clock on the wall, five minutes before they would be here to take him away. 

 

He finished getting ready and took his time. Ten minutes later he walked out of the bathroom and saw two men ready to take him away. 

 

“See ya old chap.” Adam patted him on the back and walked around the men. Mikey was taken to the van by the men. 

 

He saw people watching in windows as he got in the van. Nathan and Josh sat together in the upstairs bedroom. Mikey smiled as he gave them the finger. “Some friends, Jackass and Jackass 2.0,” Mikey muttered as the van sputtered to life.

 

He turned to sit on his knees in the truck getting gum, his note book, and his iPod from the backpack that was just thrown back there with his suit case. 

 

He put on his headphones and turned the volume as loud as it would go, he hated listening to the broken gospel that was always played. He didn't hate the religion (from what he heard, his birth mother was strongly Catholic) he just hated hearing the out-of-date Latin hymns play through the destroyed speakers.

 

He flipped open his note book and saw his picture. Not the short, pale, blond freckled boy other people see. Instead the short, green, ninja turtle he was in his past life.

 

He turned the page to see his brothers: Leo, Raph, and Donnie. He has no family or siblings in this lifetime, but he had a full family in his past life. 

 

He turned the page and saw his father, an old but wise rat. And his stepmother he deeply loved, Maggie. 

 

He turned the page again to see the gator, Leatherhead, that they had befriended. He was standing next to Usagi, their rabbit-samurai friend. 

 

Mikey smiled, that was the family he wanted in this lifetime too. He missed his brothers, and father, and friends (mutant and human).

 

He turned to the first clean page and pulled the pencils from the spiral and started drawing. He drew Donnie first, then himself, then Raph, then Leo, all sitting together under a single blanket than a TV in front of them in perfect detail. 

 

This was his favorite memory. Raph had come home injured and they had all sat around to comfort him. 

 

The van pulled to a stop and he looked out of the window. He saw the mental institution. He quickly put the iPod and headset into his pocket and stuffed the precious note book into the bag. 

 

The door was opened and Mikey was all but pulled from the van. His stuff was handled roughly as he was drug in the front door. It was all second-hand items, but they were his second-hand items. 

 

He saw his things handed to one of the women at the from the desk and she discarded it beside a filing cabinet, caring little of its contents. 

 

Mikey didn’t listen as they talked, instead, he took in his surroundings. 

 

White...

 

White walls, floors, clothes, cabinets, window sills up front, doors... it was all so sanitary, it gave him a headache. 

 

Mikey was taken into a room and white clothes, identical to everyone else’s, were laid in front of him.  He was forced to change into the garments and his own clothes taken from him. He hoped they would be brought back to him when he got out of here. 

 

He could not wait to get the hell out of this living hell. 

 

He left his room and was taken to the front desk. They put a bracelet on his wrist. “Has your name, birthday, admission date, and health information.” A nurse said and he was released to the hospital. 

 

When he was “free” to wonder, he went to the entertainment room. He saw three torn up couches, and seventies TV, and a broken book case filled with torn and out of date books. 

 

“Great... just great.” He groaned as he looked around to the people. Most were old and senile, some were younger but they were all just crazy. 

 

He wasn't crazy. 

 

He knew no one else understood 

 

He looked around for someone to talk to, or maybe something to do. Then he noticed the boy in the back corner. 

 

He wore a white outfit just like everyone else, but he had the bluest eyes Mikey had ever seen. His short, dark brown hair was well taken care of, he looked like he cared. He was a handsome guy and he wasn't cowering or trying to eat the book he held in his hands, so maybe talking to his would be okay. 

 

He walked over to him and the boy didn't notice him. Closer up, Mikey could see the dark places under his eyes, as if he didn't sleep well. 

 

“Hi, I’m Mikey.” He introduced and the guy looked up from his book. “Hey, I'm Leonard.” He said and Mikey sat down next to him. “Whatcha reading?” 

 

Leonard laughed. “I’m not reading the book as much as I am drawing on the pictures in the book.” He showed Mikey his latest masterpiece. 

 

“And I stole the pencil, so don't say anything.” He whispered and Mikey nodded. 

 

The original picture was a woman cooking, Leonard has turned her into a witch by adding the hat and a wart to her nose, he also made her meal look like potions and horrible ingredients. 

 

“Nice.” Mikey laughed, Leonard nodded. “Well, I'm not going to actually read the book. They do not have a decent selection.” 

 

They laughed. “So, how long have you been here?” Mikey asked. “A few days. You?” Mikey shrugged, “Less than an hour.” Leo nodded. 

 

“Your second day is the worst.” He said and Mikey asked why. “It's your first 24 hours here, you have to figure out routine, and make some sort of anchor here or you'll drive yourself mad.” He said and Mikey wanted to laugh at his British phrase. 

 

“What are you in for? If you don't mind my asking.” Leo closed the book and it sat on his lap.

 

“I…” he wanted to tell Leo everything, but he needed to be sure he could trust him. 

 

“I tried to scale a building.” He said and Leonard smiled. “I have heard about climbing trees, but not many people climb buildings.” They laughed. 

 

“What about you?” Mikey asked. “I'd rather not talk about it.” He said and Mikey nodded. “That's fine.” He took the book back and started flipping through pages. He saw a baby with a mustache and a cigar, a man with a newly drawn prom dress, and a girl deep in thought about a dick. 

 

“I know why you are here, you do crap like this.” He gestured to the book and they laughed. 

 

They heard a bell and Mikey looked to Leonard. “Food.” He explained and they walked to the dining hall. 

 

They sat at a table in the far back corner. Mikey saw a man bring food around, a plate filled with mashed potatoes, steamed vegetables, and what looked like a pork chop. Then he sat a small dish next to it with a granola and fruit thing inside. He also brought drinks. 

 

“Thanks,” Leo said to the guy, he nodded and told them to enjoy. When the man turned his back Leo pushed the plate away. Mikey dove in. 

 

“You don't eat?” He asked between mouthfuls. “Not hungry.” He said and pulled a string attached to his sleeve. Mikey stopped abruptly. 

 

“Is there something about the food you know and I don't?” Leonard laughed. “No, Mikey, the food is fine -as far as I know- I'm just not feeling it right now.” He assured and Mikey gave him a squinted look before digging in once again. 

 

Minutes later a woman walked by and put a small glass in front of Leo. He took the pills and took a drink. He showed her he took them and she walked off. 

 

“Bitch,” Leo mumbled and Mikey looked at him questioningly. “I don't know I just don't like her. I like the other woman that does pills, she works mornings.” 

 

“The food is a ton better than I expected,” Mikey admitted and Leo smiled. “Yeah, it's okay. It's not restaurant worthy, but it's not bad either.” 

 

They sat and talked until dinner was over. “So Dr. Ben?” Mikey asked and Leo nodded. “Yeah, the dude is like 7”2’ and a complete stick. Really hard to miss.” They laughed. 

 

“So is he good at what he does?” Mikey and Leo had been talking about the staff and one of the physiatrists came up. 

 

“I guess, he won’t directly call you a nut case.” Leo continued, “He’s cool, but he does physical cases. You will probably see Ms. Jones.” He said and Mikey questioned her. 

 

“I've only met her once, my first session here, she seemed really nice.” Mikey was glad. 

 

Maybe being stuck here for a year wasn't going to be so bad after all. 

 

“So can I ask what you're in for? Since we've been talking for hours now.” Mikey asked and Leo shrugged. “Not important…” he changed the subject once again. 

 

Nurses came around about nine and started asking people to bed. Mikey asked Leonard where his room was. “Mine is at the end of the other hall,” Leo said vaguely. 

 

“Well, I guess I'll see you at breakfast.” Mikey didn't want to leave his friend. “Yeah, different time, the same station,” Leo said as he watched Mikey leave. 

 

Leo sighed as a nurse asked him a second time to go to his room, he waved her off and walked down the hall. He stopped at his door and hesitated. When he closed the door it would lock until morning, as long as he stayed on this side of the door he was “free.” 

 

He suddenly felt two large hands on his shoulders, he tensed instantly. One moved to open the door and the other pushed urged his forward. “Do we have to do this every night, Leonard?” The gruff voice of the guard asked and he shrugged. 

 

“Go on, go to bed.” The guard was gentle as he pushed him into the room and shut the door. 

 

Leonard took a deep, supposed to be calming, breath and took his shirt off. He climbed into the bed. His, and all the other ones down this hall way were bolted to the floor as well as the wall. He pulled the blanket up close to his chin and he waited for sleep to take him. 


	2. Big Brother Leonard meet Big brother Donald

Mikey woke up the next morning and saw the white room. It wasn't a dream, he really was labeled crazy. 

He got up and saw new clothes on the small desk near the door. They were identical to the ones he was currently wearing. 

He changed clothes and walked out of his room. He let the smell of food lead him to the dining hall. 

He saw Leo, sitting in the exact same seat he had for dinner the night before. “Morning, Leo.” Mikey greeted as he sat next to him. 

“Hey.” Came his exhausted response. “You look like you didn't sleep well,” Mikey said and he only shrugged. 

“Did you?” He asked and Mikey nodded. “For what it is, yeah.” He was used to sleeping in new places. 

“Good.” Leo didn't seem like he wanted to talk much more. Mikey wouldn't force him. 

Instead, they sat there, Mikey watched the guy from last night pass out plates; eggs, bacon, and hash browns filled them. Then a new girl comes around with the small glasses. 

She stopped at their table and she gave Leo his glass. She smiled at him, he smiled back. “Not any better?” She asked quietly. He shook his head. 

“You still seeing Dr. Ben?” She asked and he nodded. “I don’t know then, I hope it gets better though.” She said and put her hand on his before walking off. 

“I know why you prefer her over the other one.” Mikey teased and Leo shrugged. “I don’t know what you mean,” he said, though a smile tugged at his lips.

“Yeah... what did she mean, ‘get better?’” Mikey asked and he shrugged, “I don’t sleep well, dreams.” was all he said, though at least it was something. 

“Is that why you are here?” Mikey asked and Leo didn’t look at him when he nodded. “Why didn’t you just tell me?” He asked and Leo shrugged. “I don't know, Mikey, shut up and eat,” Leo said with a laugh, Mikey did as asked. 

Mikey noticed that Leo didn’t eat breakfast, though he went through two cups of tea. He said he didn’t drink coffee, but he liked the herbal blend. 

As they sat, and Mikey ate, they talked. Mikey did a lot of talking and Leo did a lot of listening, but they were content nonetheless. 

When they finished Leo was taken to his doctor appointment, that left Mikey alone to entertain himself. 

“Stop! Stop, please! Don’t touch me!” He heard someone scream, he walked into the main room to see who it was. 

He saw a boy, had to be about his age, with long shaggy brown hair. He was being held by two large men, he was struggling from their hold. 

“Please, let me go!” He screamed and Mikey saw a woman come over to him. She stood in front of him, she looked like she was trying to calm him down, but Mikey couldn’t here was she was saying. 

He also saw a man come behind the boy and push a needle into his unsuspecting shoulder. He screamed stop again and started to relax into the hold of the men. 

The woman continued to talk to him as he calmed. Mikey half expected him to go unconscious, but he didn’t. Instead, he just lay limp in their arms. 

Mikey subtly walked closer so he could hear the woman talking. “Listen to me. You're okay now, no one is going to hurt you, Donald, it’s alright.” He heard her soothing the scattered boy. 

He watched as the men carried “Donald” down another hallway. 

A nurse took Mikey’s hand and startled him. He laughed it off and looked at the nurse, she apologized. It was the same woman from earlier. 

“Michael?” She asked and he nodded. 

“It’s time for your initial exam.” She guided him into an elevator and took him to the second floor. He looked at the buttons in the elevator, the floors went from the main floor up to the fifth floor, and down to a basement level. He so did not want to know what was in the basement of a place like this. 

They walked out of the elevator and down a hall to a door labeled ‘Dr. Casey Jones - 355’.

“He is already in.” The nurse told him and opened the door. Mikey couldn’t help but smile at the name of the doctor. Casey Jones was the name of one of their friends in his past life when they were all together. 

He walked into the room and it looked like a typical exam room. 

He saw the doctor standing there. His hair was so black it was almost blue, and he stood no more than 5”9’. He turned when the door shut. “Morning, Michael. I’m Dr. Jones.” He introduced himself, “S’up. And Mikey works.” 

“Alright, Mikey, sit up here please.” Casey gestured to the table and Mikey did as asked. 

After a complete physical and a few health questions, Mikey was released from the room. 

When he opened the door an another nurse was there to guide him to another room. This one was labeled ‘Dr. April O’Neil - 365’ and Mikey smiled. He walked in and the first thing that caught his eye was the Boole cases filled with books. She had dark carpet, but a light brown fabric couch. 

“Hi, Michael, how are you this morning?” She asked. She had dark hair, but not near as dark as the other Dr. O’Neil. Her red hair was pulled into a bun behind her head and she wore little makeup. Her clothes looked comfortable. 

She was also the woman he had seen trying to calm Donald. 

“Fine, how are you?” He asked as he stood awkwardly in the room. 

“Good, please have a seat.” She gestured to the couch and he moved to sit next to the arm of the couch. 

She asked him if he knew why he was admitted. He said he did. 

She asked him to explain it to her. “I scaled a building,” was his answer. She asked him why he said because he was able. 

“Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.” She said and he nodded. “I'm getting that.” He said sarcastically. 

“There is more to it then scaling a building. People don't get admitted for that.” She said and he shrugged. 

He sighed and told her about the past life he knew he had. He told her vaguely of his brothers, father, and friends. He didn't mention her or the other Dr. Jones. 

“Do these brothers have names?” She asked and he shrugged. “You don't know?” He smiled. “You don't.” Came his response. He wanted to get out of here and find Leo. Maybe he can tell him something about Donald. 

He didn't tell her much else, he answered her questions, but she didn't get any information from him. 

For almost two hours he dodged her questions and gave her vague explanations. 

This was his life, even if was a past life, and she didn't believe him so she didn't need to know. Not yet at least. 

She finally let him leave and told him he would see her about once a week, but he was free to see her anytime he needed. He thanked her and walked out. 

Yet another nurse walked him back to the main room. 

He saw Leo sitting at one of the bookcases with a book in his hands. 

“What are you reading?” He asked and Leo looked up at him. “Haven't we done this before?” They laughed. 

“Which book are you vandalizing now?” He asked and Leo held up the book so he could see the cover. It was a medical book. 

“But that's fun to draw in.” Mikey thought of all the dirty things that were begging to come out of this scenario. 

“Yeah… I would never show this to a woman.” He erased something and began to redraw it. 

“How was initial?” He asked and Mikey shrugged. “Meh. Wasn't terrible. I saw Dr. O’Jones then Dr. O’Neil.” He smiled when Leo laughed. 

“How was your appointment?” Mikey asked him and he nodded absently. “Was fine.” 

“Did you hear the dude screaming earlier?” Mikey asked him, he knew he was on another floor, but it was a possibility. “Yeah, Doc. said he had social anxieties that were beyond bad,” Leo said and Mikey nodded. 

“What happened to confidentiality?” Mikey asked and Leo shrugged. “I didn't get detailed records, just that he had social anxiety.” 

“His name is Donald,” Mikey said and Leo looked at him. “How do you know?” Leo only asked because Mikey had drilled him. 

“I heard them say his name when he was screaming, I watched it.” Leo laughed. 

“Won't be the last time you see something like that,” Leo said and Mikey cringed. How long has Leo been here? 

He said a few days, but he acts like he has been here much longer than that. Mikey’s train of thought was forgotten and he turned when he heard someone walk into the room. 

It was Donald. 

He ducked his head and quickly made his way to the back corner of the rec room. He kept his head down as he picked up the closest book to him and began pretending to read. Mikey saw him chew his fingernails. 

“Social anxiety to the max,” Leo mumbled and Mikey glared at him. “Be nice. I'm going to talk to him.” Leo grabbed his shirt. 

“Do you really think that is a good idea? The guy is probably embarrassed by his outburst earlier and I know they have him on sedatives. Top that with his anxiety and you are begging for something bad to happen.” Leo explained. 

“Why would they have him on sedatives?” Mikey asked he made no move to get up. 

“It helps keep them calm, but it makes ya feel like shit afterward,” Leo said and Mikey asked how he knew.

“Why do you always have to ask for a source?” Leo asked and Mikey shrugged, he didn't make Leo explain. 

“Where did you say your room was?” Mikey asked Leo and Leo simply repeated himself, “At the end of the other hallway.” 

“I saw a few people rooming together, maybe we could do that.” Leo cringed. 

“I don't think so, Mikey.” He said as gently as he could. He didn't want to anger Mikey, but he didn't want him to find out why they couldn't share a room. 

“No, I think if we ask the lady at the desk she would help us.” He said and got up. He was out of the room before Leo’s drugged body could get up out of the floor. 

“Sorry, sweetheart.” Leo heard the woman tell Mikey and the boy turned to look at him. 

“What?” Mikey couldn't believe what he had just been told. “Mikey, I didn't want you to-” Mikey cut him off. “Didn't want me to know that you were labeled dangerous?” 

Leo sighed, “Alright, I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” Mikey walked back to the rec room and sat where he had been before. Leo sat next to him. 

“How long have you been here?” Mikey asked, he was angry, but only because he was lied to. 

“A few months,” Leo said honestly. “Why are you dangerous?” Leo cringed at Mikey’ bluntness. 

“I have, what they call, PTSD nightmares. Basically, I black out randomly and attack people, but it's worse at night.” Leo explained, he felt exposed. 

“PTSD from what?” He was a little young to be a war hero. 

“I don't know, I can't remember the dreams.” He said that was the true reason he was here, kinda. They didn't know why they happened, he had really hurt people, but couldn't remember doing it. 

“Have you ever really hurt someone?” Mikey figured he would as while Leo was being honest. 

“A few times.” 

“Have you ever hurt yourself?” 

Leo chuckled, “More than a few times.” 

“You didn't think that is something I should know? I'm hanging out with you all the time and didn't know about your blackouts.” Leo looked at him, he wasn't leaving. 

“Didn't think about it like that.” 

“I can't say anything though, I haven't been completely honest either,” Mikey confessed. 

“I told you I climbed the building… I did it because in a past life I was a ninja turtle and could do that sort of thing.” He talked fast through his explanation. 

“Ninja turtle?” Leo asked and Mikey nodded. “I was about 6” even, but I was the shortest of my brothers.” He hated being short in this life. 

“You had brothers?” Leo couldn't believe multiple turtles lived in one place and no one knew about it. 

“Three. Leonardo, Raphael, and Donatello.” Mikey saw Leo’s face light up when he said his oldest brother's name. 

“That is really close to Leonard.” He said and Mikey nodded. 

“My brother Leo was a true warrior, fought every battle like it was his last. He wore blue.” Mikey told him. 

“It may explain your PTSD. You have dreams from Leo’s battles in our past life. You have very blue eyes too.” Mikey was thinking out loud and Leo shook his head. 

“No, Mikey, no.” Mikey looked at him stunned. “Two turtles in a past life were brothers. In this life, the same two turtles are people about the same age and end up in the same health institution. It seems a little far fetched.” Leo said and Mikey shrugged. 

“Or it's fate.” Mikey pushed and Leo shook his head. “Okay, Mikey. Maybe.” Leo didn't want him to feel bad. 

“I'm going to talk to Donald,” Mikey said and was quickly on the other side of Leo, just out of his reach. 

“Mikey, no.” 

He was ignored, instead, Mikey walked carefully to the new boy. “Hi, I'm Mikey.” He said and Donald looked up at him. 

“Donald.” He said quietly. He had a high pitched voice and a missing front tooth. 

“What are you doing?” Mikey asked and Donald didn't answer. “I saw you earlier, thought you could use a friend.” Mikey sat down and Donald tensed. 

“Please, please go away.” He begged quietly. Mikey didn't move. “It's okay,” Mikey assured the other and he shook his head. 

“Look, guy, I'm trying really hard to keep myself calm. You are making it really difficult. Please leave.” Donald did not want to be put in the room again. 

“What happened to you earlier?” Mikey asked. Donald rolled his eyes. “Someone got too close and wouldn't leave me alone,” Donald said in the most warning and threatening voice he could muster. The truth was his chest hurt and he just wanted to be left alone. 

“Okay, I get it. I'll leave. See ya, Don.” He stood and heard Don sigh with relief. 

He walked back to where Leo had been. He was no longer sitting there. 

Mikey saw him talking to a tall man wearing a Tshirt and jeans. Mikey knew few people for the description. This had to be Dr. Crow. 

“I just think it is a good form of treatment.” He heard the doctor say and Leo nodded. “If you think so. I'll try it. I'm ready for this to work.” Leo said and the doctor saw Mikey standing there. 

“Friend of yours?” He asked and Leo turned. “Yeah.” 

The doctor stood and told Leo they would discuss details at his next appointment.

Leo thanked him and the doctor walked off. “What was that?” Mikey asked and Leo shrugged. “That was Dr. Crow. He wants to try a new therapy or something.” Leo said and Mikey nodded. “How was Donald?” Leo asked. 

“Fine, but he asked me to leave.” Leo laughed. “I told you he didn't want to be friends.” 

Mikey squinted at him and Leo leaned forward he was laughing so hard. “I don't think I've heard you talk as much as you've laughed at me,” Mikey said and Leo tried to calm down, wiping a tear from his eye. 

“I'm sorry.…” he was going to say something else, but Mikey cut him off, “You're not sorry you ass.” He said and laughed with Leo. 

“I haven't laughed this hard in years,” Leo said as he caught his breath. Mikey looked at him, “What was so funny last time?” He asked. 

“Uhh - hell, I don't know.” Leo knew it was a lie, but it was a believable one.


	3. It's a "Shock" to the system

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo under goes shock therapy treatments. Nothing graphic by any means at all (This is the 21st century after all) 
> 
> Short chapter, the next will be longer, just really needed to isolate this.

Days passed. Mikey noticed Leo hardly ever ate. Leo watched as Mikey tried to get close to Donald. And Donald continued to push friendship away. 

Leo was taken down the hall by two guards. They didn't touch him, they didn't have too. They knew as long as he was awake he would cooperate. 

He walked into Dr. Ben’s office and sat down, the guard said he would be there soon. 

With the door closed and the large windows covered by the curtain, Leo understood the claustrophobic feeling Dr. Ben talked about. 

“Morning, Leonard, how are you?” He asked as he walked in. Leo smiled. “Morning. I'm good, you?” Ben nodded. “Can't complain.” 

“How ya feeling, Leo?” He asked the two questions had different meanings. 

“I'm okay, had a good week.” He said and thought of Mikey. 

“Glad to hear it. Have you given therapy any thought?” He asked and Leo nodded. “Yeah, I’ll try it.” Leo agreed. It scared him, the idea, but if it would help then he would try anything. 

“It is a very simple thing, Leonard, that has been perfected dramatically in the last few decades.” Dr. Ben assured him and explained how electric shock therapy worked. 

It didn't sound so bad when Dr. Ben talked about it, but Leo was still leery. He followed Dr. Ben to the elevator and was taken to the fourth floor. 

They stepped into a room and Leo was asked to take his shirt off and lay on a bed. “Now, just relax, Leonard. You won't feel anything.” The doctor put a mask over his face and pushed a needle into his arm. 

“Just relax, you're okay...” he heard as his mind slipped into darkness. 

…

“Leonard?” He heard as the fog left his mind. “Where am I?” He asked and saw Dr. Ben. “You're okay. You just had your first therapy session. How are you feeling?” The doctor looked in his eyes with a light and pressed a stethoscope to his chest. 

“I feel like I got hit over the head with a bat.” He mumbled as he felt his hands shake. Dr. Ben smiled reassuringly at the young man. “Can you tell me the last thing you remember?” 

“You asked me to take my shirt off and lay on the bed,” Leo said and he nodded. “Not too bad, a few minutes before the anesthesia.” He reminded and Leo nodded. 

“Go ahead and lay back and rest. When you are feeling less like you beat you can go back to the main hospital.” Leo nodded his understanding. 

Dr. Ben leaned back against the counter. “I've had a few guards tell me that you are having problems going into your room at night.” He started. Leo shrugged. 

“I don't know.” He didn't want to talk about that. “Is there something in the room bothering you?” He asked and Leo shrugged. 

“The door locks when I go inside.” He admitted. He knew there was nothing Dr. Ben could do about it, it had to lock to keep everyone safe from him and his blackouts. 

“The door locks, yes, but it is always unlocked when you get up in the mornings.” Dr. Ben reminded him. 

“Yes, I know, but… I don't know.” Leo was tired. “Does it trace back to your father at all?” He asked and Leo tensed. 

“I guess it could...” Leo pulled his knees to his chest. He didn't feel well, he didn't want to talk about his father, and he didn't want to talk about his problems. “We can talk about it later. Leonard, it's not that big of a deal. I just wanted to ask, so if there was something I could change I knew.” Ben didn't want to upset the boy further, he had been through enough for one day. 

Dr. Ben left the boy to rest and recover. Leo watched him leave the room. He was relieved to have some time to himself.


	4. Q & A    - thanks Mikey -

Mikey sat down at the table for dinner, but Leo never showed. He hadn't seen the other all day. “Can I sit here?” Donald asked Mikey from across his table. He nodded, “Of course.” He was excited to finally have to the other talking to him. 

“How you been?” Mikey asked and Donald shrugged. “Okay, I guess.” Donald really didn’t want to talk, he simply had nowhere else to sit. He had gotten to lunch later and his normal table was full. 

“Where is the other one?” Donald knew Mikey normally didn’t go anywhere without his shadow. “I don’t know, I haven’t seen him since last night.” 

“Maybe he got restrained,” Don mumbled and Mikey looked at him. “What? Why would he get restrained?” Don snorted. 

“He is dangerous,” Don told him and Mikey felt himself tense. “He’s not dangerous, he has had a rough patch.” Mikey defended. “You know the bands they make us wear?” Don shook his hand, making the plastic shift. 

“Yeah...” Mikey looked at his. “Yours, as a white dot, meaning you are not a threat. Mine has a light gray dot because I have panic attacks. His is black because no one has any idea when he is going to freak out and kill someone.” Mikey almost wished Donald hadn’t come to sit with him. 

“He has never killed anyone,” Mikey growled. Donald nodded. “That’s what got him in here, I heard two of the psychiatrists say so. He had himself admitted into the institution after he killed his girlfriend.” Donald saw the anger boiling behind Mikey’s eyes.

“He wouldn’t.” Mikey was desperately trying not to yell. “He did.” Donald kept the smile off his face. He hated to ruin what they had, but he was getting tried to them pestering him. If they had their own issues, maybe they would leave him alone. 

Donald said nothing when he saw Leo coming their way. “I just thought I should warn you.” He whispered when Leo stopped to say something to a woman on his way by. 

He sat down, Mikey instantly saw the exhaustion written over the other’s face. “Where have you been?” Mikey asked and Leo didn’t answer. The guy brought over a glass of tea and Leo didn’t acknowledge him. 

“Leo?” Mikey asked. 

“My name is Leonard.” He groaned miserably and Mikey nodded. “Sorry, Leonard.” Mikey wanted to ask about his girlfriend, but he figured now was not the time. 

“See you guys.” Donald got up and left. “He seems awfully chatty,” Leo mumbled. Mikey shrugged. “I think his table had someone sitting there.” Mikey knew where Donnie normally sat. 

“What did you talk about? Anything?” Leo and Mikey felt himself go cold. “Nothing, Don doesn’t talk much.” He lied. He felt like Leo knew anyway. 

“You sat here, completely silent. I don’t believe it.” Leo teased, though he was exhausted, he had to cheer Mikey up a little, he looked like something was bothering him. 

“I talked, he listened. You know how that is.” Mikey forced a laugh. Leo smiled and took a sip of his tea. “You look like you have been busy today?” Mikey changed the subject. 

“Had some stuff to do with the doctor.” He said and Mikey nodded. “Are you okay? You seem really out of it.” Leo nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay, really tired.” He said honestly and Mikey nodded. 

“Hey, I know one memory that would cheer you up,” Mikey said and Leonard raised an eyebrow. “A memory?” Mikey nodded. “From our previous life...” He remembered Leo snap when he called him Leo instead of Leonard. Maybe now wasn’t the best time. “Alright, Mikey, I have a question. You have all of this worked out, but did any of us have relationships? I mean four teenage boys with ninja skills, I don’t believe we didn’t have something.” Mikey tensed, he thought about Leo’s relationship in their past. 

He had married Raphael, but they had a huge fight and never talked again. “We ended up dating each other. Splinter married Casey’s sister, Maggie, but the turtles had each other.” He explained and Leo looked like he wanted him to continue. “Well, you’ve told me this much. Who was I with?” Leo was waiting for the younger to say they were together. Not because he wanted the other in that way, he simply wanted to laugh at the irony. 

“You and Raphael were a couple.” That is as far as Mikey wanted to tell him. “So were we happy.” Mikey cursed in his head, “Yeah, especially in the beginning, you two were inseparable. You always fought, but you didn’t stay mad long.” Mikey was happy with his answer, Leo seemed to be too. 

“Splinter, did he really name us after Renaissance artists on purpose?” Leo asked and Mikey laughed as he nodded. “Yes, but his story changed. Sometimes he would say he found a book with the names of the artists. Sometimes his wife loved their work and that is how he picked. He also says they had some of his favorite pieces of art, but when you asked his what the art pieces were that he liked, he ignored you.” They laughed. “Splinter sounds interesting.” He said and Mikey told him they were close. 

“So why in this life am I not able to ninja?” Leo asked, Mikey could tell he was doing everything he could to stay awake, so he would humor the questions. He loved talking about their life. 

“I think something happened in the past life, as result, we can’t ninja. I already told you I failed when I tried to climb that building.” Leo smiled. 

“I know I fell down a flight of stairs once, that didn’t seem very ninja-like,” Leo said and they laughed. “So you said you had a specific memory you wanted to share.” Leo reminded him. 

“When we were little, like really little, Raph talked you into going into the sewer and you encountered this huge white alligator...” Leo noticed Mikey talked with his hands more when he talks about the turtles, and he got really loud. 

Leo couldn’t help it that his mind wandered. He wanted nothing more than to listen to Mikey’s story, but he thought about his past in this lifetime. It wasn’t near as exciting as “his past life” and he realized he was a lot worse off this time around. 

He hated to complain about his life, he was always told someone else had it worse and he should be grateful for what he had. He thought to be a ninja sounded cool, and having a family as close as they once Mikey talked about sounded amazing. 

He didn’t believe Mikey, they were a figment of his imagination, but Leo was glad it made the other happy. It was also interesting to listen too when he could focus. His head hurt. 

“Did you hear me?” Mikey asked and Leo nodded, he had no idea what he said. “I thought so too, he was being a baby. He really was, but I also understand...” Mikey never stopped talking, Leo noticed, and that he was sure about. 

Leo didn’t realize hours passed, but soon a woman was telling people it was time to go to their rooms. “Night, Leo - Leonard - ... sorry.” Mikey said as he got up, Leo said told him Leo was fine and said good night as he watched Mikey walked away. 

Leo walked to the elevator instead to his hall. He rode the elevator to the second floor, where Dr. Ben’s office was. 

He got to the doctor’s door and knocked, he knew he wasn’t supposed to be up here at this hour and he didn’t know if the doctor was even here. 

The door opened and Dr. Ben stood there, “Evening, Leonard, what brings you here?” He gestured for the boy to come inside.


	5. And then there was Raphael...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> underage drinking
> 
> cutting
> 
> substance abuse all over the damn place
> 
> \- Thanks Raph

 

Mikey lay down on his bed and stared into the darkness of his room. He couldn't stop thinking about what Donald had said. He seemed to know exactly what he was talking about. 

 

Leo never mentioned a friend outside the institution, but then again, if it was a killing why would you talk about it. 

 

Mikey decided he would ask Leonardo about it. He smiled when he thought his brother's true name. One letter, a small letter, separates the two words but it is all the difference. 

 

He couldn't remember falling asleep, but he woke up when someone knocked on his door. “Let me in.” He heard a voice outside his door. He got up and slowly made his way to the door. No way he had really heard it. 

 

“Let me in, hurry up.” The voice said more urgently. Mikey opened the door and a guy tumbled into his room. 

 

“Who are you?” He questioned but the guy wrapped a hand around his mouth. “You will lay down as if you were never woken up. When they open the door, you have no idea what they are talking about. You never saw me.” He spoke fast and sternly. Mikey nodded. 

 

“Lay down and cover up, when they pass then we’ll talk.” He pushed Mikey in the direction of the bed. He lay down and pulled the blanket over his legs and put his arm under his head. 

 

He heard the other man move in the room, moving something before he was silent. 

 

Mikey heard the door to his room open, a woman’s voice quietly said “nothing” and he heard the door shut. 

 

Minutes felt like hours as Mikey waited to be told he could move. “Alright, she’s gone.” He said and Mikey sat up and pushed the blanket off.  

 

“What the hell was that?” He asked and the guy came out of hiding. He was tall and very muscled under the white shirt, that was all Mikey could really see in the dark. 

 

“Thanks, kid.” He said and shook Mikey’s hand. “How did you know I would let you in?” Mikey didn't know why he let the man in, to begin with. “I didn't, your was the first door I saw.” Mikey raised an eyebrow, his room was in the center of the long hallway. 

 

“What's your name, kid?” His Boston accent was thick and sounded like velvet. 

 

“Mikey, and don't call me kid.” The man laughed. “Alright, not a kid.” He said as he turned to his hiding place. “Who are you?” Mikey asked and the man pulled out two beers. 

 

“Where did you get those?” Mikey was suddenly questioning the security of the institution. “I brought them, drink up. And the name’s Raph.” 

 

He threw a bottle to Mikey and he barely caught it. “I'm underage.” He said and Raph laughed. “So am I.” He opened the bottle and took a swig. He felt the burn down his throat, he set the bottle back on the corner of the desk. “No thank you.” Raph laughed. “Not for beginners, I get that.” 

 

“What are you doing in here?” Mikey asked, he had no idea what time it really was, but he was thinking it was around three in the morning. “I ran, what does it look like I’m doing.” It wasn’t a question, it was a sarcastic comment that Mikey found obnoxious. 

 

“It looks like you're trying to get me in trouble, you realize it’s my room that will smell like alcohol, not yours.” Mikey realized he could get in serious trouble for this. It was against the law, and definitely against his own morals, as lame as that sounded.

 

“You here for something major?” He asked and Mikey shrugged. “They say I have SPD.” Mikey couldn’t remember what the letters stood for. 

 

“Lovely...” He said sarcastically and pulled up another beer. “What are you in here for?” Mikey didn’t know if he meant the room or the hospital, but Raph answered. “I got caught.” was all he said. 

 

“Caught doing what?” Mikey almost wished he hadn’t asked. “I tried to commit suicide... and a few other things.” He said and Mikey felt his heart drop. If this guy could do that to himself what would stop him from hurting someone else?

 

“Why suicide?” He asked and the guy stopped mid drink. “I - I didn’t come here for a therapy session. Shut up and go back to bed, I’ll be out of here when I finish this beer.” He took a long drink. 

 

Mikey reluctantly lay back in bed. He really just wanted the man to leave, he was so tired. He didn’t know when he fell asleep, but he woke up when a nurse knocked on the door the next morning. “Michael, breakfast.” She said when she poked her head in the door and set clean clothes on the desk. 

 

He mumbled his acknowledgment and rolled out of bed. He changed clothes and stretched. The desk was moved back to its original position and there was no evidence of the previous night. 

 

Had it really happened? 

 

Mikey thought about it, the guy coming in, the beers, the words spoken. Was any of it real? He shook his head, of course, it really happened. It had to have. Mikey still had the nasty taste in his mouth from the little beer he had drunk. 

 

He walked out of his room and made his way to the dining room. He saw Leo and Raph sitting at the table. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, hope you like. 
> 
> If you have comments or notes let me know. I love getting comments. Constructive criticism is appreciated, but please don't be mean about it. I've got some really nasty and unnecessary comments in the past, there is no need to be an asshole. 
> 
> I love you all and hope your lives are going well!


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